At the end of 2008, I gave up my job and life in the UK to be with the woman I loved, whom I had been with for the past 40 years to support her in her new career in Istanbul. I came home 4 weeks after moving to Istanbul to be with my mother who was dying of cancer, she passed away 2 weeks after my return. Leaving the life I knew in the UK to live in Istanbul (after my mum passing away) was very short lived. My marriage broke up and I returned to my children in the UK whilst my wife stayed in Istanbul. I was unemployed (who is going to interview someone who is 54?), no income and with my savings draining away.

A year later I received a call to tell me that my wife was about to undergo a life saving operation to cure a double aneurism. I am thousands of miles away unable to do anything to help. The operation was a success. 6 months later I received a text from my wife to tell me she was at the airport in Istanbul and could I pick her up from Manchester that afternoon. She turned up with the clothes on her back and her handbag, looking very lost. 15 hours in the Royal Hospital the next day she was diagnosed with depression with psychotic tendencies. 2 months later I arrived home on Christmas Eve to find her dead body lying in the bath.

This is just a very brief summary of what has happened recently(I don’t think you would believe the full version). I could easily sit down and write a whole book. However this testimony is not about me but what God has done in this situation. If you will forgive me, I will explain in bullet points.

• Returning to Istanbul after the death of my mother, I knew that my marriage was most likely to be over. However, it had been a 40 year relationship, at best I may save the marriage at worst I could say goodbye face to face. In the 3 weeks I was there I felt helpless and I gave my situation to God.
• A friend (whom I have known for many years) encouraged me to read the Bible again (online). This was an unbelievable help to me as I started to listen to God once again. My friend was always there for me, to listen and give a word from God.
• Unable to get employment when I returned to the UK, I took up gardening (I had always hated gardening). Sorting out not only my own but quite a few others. This time allowed me to be more aware of what God was saying to me. I spent many hours talking & listening to God.
• I was now attending Church again and would cry my eyes out with every song I (tried to) sing. The tears were as a result of my love for God.
• I got together with friends every Wednesday afternoon to talk about the scriptures.
• I was worried about paying the bills as my savings were all but gone and I was earning little (though enough) gardening. Again God was faithful in this. I got a temporary job in a warehouse on minimum wage and a few telephone consultancies at £130 an hour! This helped me over Christmas.
• Whilst all this was happening, God put me in a position to help 2 friends who were in desperate need of support and understanding.
• When things really did get desperate financially, God gave me a job. I have just completed 12 months in the job.
• My 2 children gave me tremendous emotional support.
• I met a new partner. Though not a Christian, she has the qualities you would expect of someone who loves Jesus. Even after I explained to her that in my life, God comes first, my kid’s second and she is third. 18 months on we are still together.
• Early last year I forgave my wife for what she had done to me and our children. I also placed her at the foot of the cross and asked God to heal her spiritually.
• Finding her dead on Christmas Eve, I believe it was an answer to prayer. Not the answer I wanted, but I had given her to God and now she is at peace.
• In the 8 weeks before her death, she spent 6 of those weeks living in our family home.

Where am I going with all this. With all the things I have been through in the past 2 years (many times I have been an emotional wreck), I believe God has been in this all the way through. Without God I would hate to think how I could have coped or where I would be now. He has been faithful to me, giving me support through family and friends, teaching through his word. He is always speaking to me though at times I fail to hear him.

God is taking me through a journey. It is a journey that WILL glorify him. He has been teaching and training me and changing me into the person he created me to be. Many times I am still very sad. I am human and the loss of a 40 year relationship and of course her life, is something very hard to take for me and my children.

I started by asking the question “How do you start your life again at the age of 56?” Well I believe that my life is just about to start with what God wants me to do for him. I believe I know what it is. I now need to take the step of faith. I will update you when it happens.

This is only the past 2 years, I have another 38 years prior to this were God has done things in my life. As I said earlier, I am sure I could write a book.

If this prompts any questions(as I have only covered things briefly), please feel free to send them to me via the contacts on our Web site and I will reply to you.

God bless you.