Testimony
I would say that I grew up in a Christian environment and that meant that my parents took me to Church every Sunday. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and looking back both of my parents intended to teach me right from wrong, most of the time they got it right and being the eldest child I was more than likely going to cause them more problems!
Sunday school was good and I enjoyed it, it was safe however the older I got the fewer in numbers we became, till there was barely a handful remaining. The teachings that we received were very light and laid back mixed with fun and games. By the age of twelve we received a new youth leader who I instantly took a liking too, why? Because he listened to what our needs were, twelve year old kids how would we like to know more about God? How can we enhance the Christian experience within this youth group and help it grow? Wow! This was massive. He already had some ideas of developing a youth club which was fantastic! It grew that much that upon occasion we didn’t have enough volunteers and therefore had to reluctantly turn people away. We had pool and snooker tables albeit not full size but still fun, an air hockey table, an old space invaders 2 player game arcade machine, a tuck shop bar and a full disco setup. Music was fast becoming very important to me particular 90’s dance and happy hard-core so I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that there are Christian dance songs and not just traditional hymns. The youth club flourished and kept our core Sunday school group together plus gaining a small additional number. We went to Manchester to go and watch TWWMT and Raze plus other groups it felt safe and somewhere I belonged and I wanted to know more and it was an amazing time of my life.
It was during this time that local youth groups all pulled together and introduced a youth church, to be held at all churches on a rotational basis of a Sunday evening. I attended them all and thoroughly enjoyed them mixing with other youth and struck up strong friendships. I continued to have a strong relationship with my youth leader so much so that I was allowed to do mobile discos with him on a Saturday evening which was great fun and I felt quite mature.
My relationship with my parents became different I was no longer a child but also not yet an adult and I continually pushed the boundaries with my mum in particular. Dad became more of a friend whom I respected whereas I started to argue with my mum as I felt she was too strict. I always felt guilty afterwards but in a way pleased that I had stood up to her, it was frustrating because I was never allowed to win an argument as she is the parent and what they say goes. From the age of about thirteen I never really interacted with my sister (two and a half years younger than me) she didn’t want to go to church and she didn’t want to go to the youth club and at the time I was pleased because I was afraid she would tell Mum if I misbehaved.
My feelings changed towards girls about this time as I became attracted to them and other people my age had girlfriends. I enjoyed being bold and brash and fearless, first one to speak up or first one on the dance floor I had bags of confidence. At that age I found that you tend to fall in and out of girlfriends and it made me feel nice. I felt wanted by these girls this is where hindsight comes in again – what I was really looking for was Jesus love I just didn’t realise it at the time. Our youth club set up The Institute Nightclub a once monthly event on a Saturday night underage nightclub. This was awesome and a positive alternative, I was heavily involved and felt proud.
During one of the Sunday youth church services’ I prayed at the back of the church and I meant this prayer. I was able to turn the volume down inside my head of everything that was going on around me and I asked Jesus into my life and at the same time I asked him if he was real as I had some doubts but I wanted to try and be a better person. I felt a sudden rush inside of me and I could feel the hairs on my arms stand on end and the tips of my ears getting warm and I had images of a different youth leader kneeling down next to someone at the front and people whispering they’ve just been knocked down by the holy spirit and I remembered that this had happened the last time that I attended this church. I opened my eyes and my legs felt like Jelly and everyone was quiet as we had been asked to pray and I knew at that moment that I had my first experience of feeling the Holy Spirit within me. To me the vision means that Jesus communicates with us all differently and that Jesus was saying – Have I not shown you how I completely overwhelmed this person that they were knocked down by my holy spirit? Here I felt what they felt – that rush I feel is a reminder to me that first time that he is real and that I have asked him into my life.
My youth leader left Southport and started to work in Bootle and invited me to come down which I did and I made new friends and we created LX3 – a once monthly event held at Northfield Church an under eighteen’s disco which was very successful.
Being a Christian was not easy – it still isn’t! There have been many times were I have realised that Jesus has been in control and things have worked out even when I didn’t think that they would.
I felt that I had prayed that prayer and that was it, I was a child of God and that was all I needed to do – How wrong was I! Bad decision followed bad decision and other things became more important to me than Jesus. I became so wrapped up with trying to make other people happy that I became sad and I filled the gap with quick euphoria’s whereas what I needed was to put Jesus first and surround myself with positive Christian friends. I took knock after knock and faced the consequences from my bad decisions and I couldn’t take anymore and I decided to return to the Church where I first gave my life to Jesus.
This was a time of growth for me, a time to repent for the bad choices that I had made in life. I looked forward to Sunday services and was gutted when they were over. It brought me closer to my parents, I started to learn more and get more out of the services. They held a ‘heaven and hell’ play which was fantastic and a real eye opener and if you have not seen the play I would encourage you to see one or even promote your church to get involved. On another occasion a former youth leader turned up who I remembered from when I was about nine or ten years old. He tours churches promoting children’s work through various means audio and visual and he asked if there were any requests people had? My mum shouted out to play my song! Years ago I wrote a song with my dad to win a camera competition and this particular youth leader put music to it and it became a hit at the church and was sung regularly. He asked my mum if she knew me and she pointed me out at the front sitting with my daughter. He could not find the backing music but slung his guitar over his shoulder and started singing the song I had written with my dad. It was great to hear and at the end he came to speak to me and offered some free cd’s and dvd’s. One thing he said to me was that my song had changed so many lives, he was at a gig in Ireland and played my song and over 200 people committed their lives to Jesus. I could not believe it! Here was something that I could do which could positively impact people’s lives I was overwhelmed with emotion.
There were lots of other things that happened in my life but I will try and summarise certain things up. I continued to build a strong relationship with my daughter. I tried to keep in contact with positive people and slowly moved on from the negative people impacting my life. I felt ready for a proper relationship now that my relationship with Jesus was on track. I still had highs and lows mostly work related especially the lows. I applied for other jobs and even when I was offered them I turned them down I had this sensation ‘it’s not the right time’ even though I became terribly unhappy at my work.
One of my Bootle friends and I started doing mobile discos together with our own equipment we had enough for two medium sized setups and if we were double booked we would do one each otherwise we would share. On one of these occasions we were asked to do a New Year’s Eve house party in Crosby. I had finished work early and travelled down to pick my friend up as we were going to scope the place out so we knew how to get there on the day. My friend had a rough idea of how to get there, anyway we turned off the main road and somehow I got a puncture. The tool to remove my wheel would not fit! It was so frustrating we both tried, my suit was getting wrecked and I felt hopeless. The disco money meant I was able to keep the car on the road in order to see my daughter and we were stranded off the main road. Not one car had passed in about fifteen minutes.
We were stopped right opposite a church and I told my friend I was going to sit in the car and pray and he can have another go if he wanted to which he did. I looked at the church and then closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed for immediate help. I got out the car and started to feel more relaxed. Then a car came towards us from nowhere – I through myself in front of it and the driver was swerving to go round me but I would not let it. The poor old man wound his window down and asked if everything was ok? I calmly explained what had happened and asked if he could assist. He looked at my car and said we have completely different cars it won’t work. I asked him if I could try and that I had just prayed for help. He got out and I used his tool and I had changed the wheel in three to four minutes. I was thanking Jesus in my head for the speedy response.
I could not thank the old man enough and he became a lot jollier (he was obviously apprehensive at first). He introduced himself and advised us that he was already late getting home and that he owned a couple of chippies in the area. He asked us what we were doing off the main road and we advised him we were looking for a particular address. He looked at us with a puzzled expression and enquired as to why we needed that address. We advised that we would be doing a mobile disco there on NYE. He did a little jig in the street and advised us that the address was his daughter’s house and he would gladly show us the way! I said to my friend in the car that being able to change the wheel and finding the address was because of my prayer. The disco was a success and we were both paid a bonus too!
There are other examples throughout my life were I have and haven’t felt close to Jesus. I have trouble with certain temptations however recently I don’t feel as tempted as I used too and this I believe has been through years of prayer and changing my attitude.
My life ebbed and flowed with good times and bad and throughout I communicated with Jesus. At my old place of work I had a reminder that popped up every day to pray and just sharing what was on my mind was great. I had other relationships and none more important than the girl I married. We had both been through similar heartache (having a child from a previous relationship) and both have Christian values. I prayed for confirmation that this was it and it felt so right. The actual wedding day was a whirlwind but I enjoyed every moment and it makes me smile just thinking of it.
Marriage is wonderful being able to share everything in life with someone who you love is amazing. Marriage is testing and has its ups and downs, marriage can be challenging but very rewarding. None more so than being blessed with a son it cemented our family together. At this time I again was having a testing time at work and we lived close to my work but my wife had to travel a fare distance to her work and she worked close to my eldest daughter whom I continued to see every weekend and holidays. I prayed for a new job and for someone to purchase our house as we were outgrowing it and I longed to be nearer my daughter. I prayed since she was eighteen months old to have more interaction with her and to spend more quality time with her. Even though I disliked my job and certain people I worked with I felt it was best to stick at it and sell the house first even though we were having no luck. I continued to pray and I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. Everything became routine and I started to feel that I wasn’t getting anywhere and thinking I was letting everybody down. We had been messed about with people putting silly offers on the house and even someone who put an offer on and then retracted it.
I asked my wife if we could pray together and she didn’t want to but agreed that we could the following night. The night after we prayed we received a knock on our front door and a lady who had viewed the house a few weeks prior offered us the asking price which we gratefully accepted. I did not want to get my hopes up as things had been at this stage before and she wanted her family (her brother was a builder) to inspect the property as well but somehow I felt calm and believed that this was it we were finally going to move.
Choosing the right house was easier than I thought as each one we looked at I had instant feelings and when I found the one I liked I prayed if it was the right one and I went through the motions of selling and buying and moving and I felt it was all coming together. Since moving I now see my daughter a lot more so my prayers have been answered. The next issue I had was to try a new career. After twelve years of working for a big global blue chip company I wanted to do something different, I had some ideas however it was very hard to break into when most of my working experience had been in a particular environment. I prayed about leaving my job but I had financial worries especially with purchasing a new house. Within six weeks after the move redundancies were being offered at work and after consulting with my wife who was very supportive over this important decision I agreed to take redundancy.
I was sad to leave my friends as I had been with them for a third of my life both inside and outside of work however I had a sense of relief that I was finally leaving a place which gave me so much heartache and stress.
Finding a new job was harder than I thought however I persevered with it and I was accepted to work within administration as a civil servant part time. The job is on short rolling contracts so it is always stressful as you never know when it may end but for someone who was a worrier I feel at peace about it.
With changing houses and surroundings I was struggling to adjust and I started to become a bit withdrawn. Sunday services were not meaning anything to me; I was trying to break into a very tight click at Church to build friends. I still am! It is very hard people are nice to you and welcoming on a Sunday morning but then it feels like you are forgotten about until the following Sunday.
I tried walking away from Jesus one of the main reasons was because I felt that I didn’t belong at this particular church however this church has had an amazing input and influence with my wife. I announced on social media I didn’t want to know anymore and felt so alone. The pastor of the church came to see me and still meets up with me now for encouragement and talks which is fantastic. I felt challenged to give it another go at this church and to put extra effort in.
There have been many issues in my life I have had lots of highs and some lows as well. I feel my gift from God is writing songs and I have written quite a few. I would like to create a band (unfortunately I cannot play) or a dance label and hear these Christian songs played and sung, spread throughout the land changing people’s lives and having a positive influence.
My relationship with Jesus is currently strong and it has not been easy to share some of these things however I am hoping that whoever reads this can realise that no matter what you have done in your life even the really bad things that through all these negatives Jesus was with me and I have had many positives along the way – a positive relationship with my parents – a beautiful wife – three amazing children – a house – a car – miracles that have happened to me – and many other things which have all happened because of Jesus. I feel that even in my darkest moments that he was there and that I was not alone. Yes I face new issues and battle through old ones but I am focused on putting Jesus first and moving forward with him.
I would say that I grew up in a Christian environment and that meant that my parents took me to Church every Sunday. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and looking back both of my parents intended to teach me right from wrong, most of the time they got it right and being the eldest child I was more than likely going to cause them more problems!
Sunday school was good and I enjoyed it, it was safe however the older I got the fewer in numbers we became, till there was barely a handful remaining. The teachings that we received were very light and laid back mixed with fun and games. By the age of twelve we received a new youth leader who I instantly took a liking too, why? Because he listened to what our needs were, twelve year old kids how would we like to know more about God? How can we enhance the Christian experience within this youth group and help it grow? Wow! This was massive. He already had some ideas of developing a youth club which was fantastic! It grew that much that upon occasion we didn’t have enough volunteers and therefore had to reluctantly turn people away. We had pool and snooker tables albeit not full size but still fun, an air hockey table, an old space invaders 2 player game arcade machine, a tuck shop bar and a full disco setup. Music was fast becoming very important to me particular 90’s dance and happy hard-core so I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that there are Christian dance songs and not just traditional hymns. The youth club flourished and kept our core Sunday school group together plus gaining a small additional number. We went to Manchester to go and watch TWWMT and Raze plus other groups it felt safe and somewhere I belonged and I wanted to know more and it was an amazing time of my life.
It was during this time that local youth groups all pulled together and introduced a youth church, to be held at all churches on a rotational basis of a Sunday evening. I attended them all and thoroughly enjoyed them mixing with other youth and struck up strong friendships. I continued to have a strong relationship with my youth leader so much so that I was allowed to do mobile discos with him on a Saturday evening which was great fun and I felt quite mature.
My relationship with my parents became different I was no longer a child but also not yet an adult and I continually pushed the boundaries with my mum in particular. Dad became more of a friend whom I respected whereas I started to argue with my mum as I felt she was too strict. I always felt guilty afterwards but in a way pleased that I had stood up to her, it was frustrating because I was never allowed to win an argument as she is the parent and what they say goes. From the age of about thirteen I never really interacted with my sister (two and a half years younger than me) she didn’t want to go to church and she didn’t want to go to the youth club and at the time I was pleased because I was afraid she would tell Mum if I misbehaved.
My feelings changed towards girls about this time as I became attracted to them and other people my age had girlfriends. I enjoyed being bold and brash and fearless, first one to speak up or first one on the dance floor I had bags of confidence. At that age I found that you tend to fall in and out of girlfriends and it made me feel nice. I felt wanted by these girls this is where hindsight comes in again – what I was really looking for was Jesus love I just didn’t realise it at the time. Our youth club set up The Institute Nightclub a once monthly event on a Saturday night underage nightclub. This was awesome and a positive alternative, I was heavily involved and felt proud.
During one of the Sunday youth church services’ I prayed at the back of the church and I meant this prayer. I was able to turn the volume down inside my head of everything that was going on around me and I asked Jesus into my life and at the same time I asked him if he was real as I had some doubts but I wanted to try and be a better person. I felt a sudden rush inside of me and I could feel the hairs on my arms stand on end and the tips of my ears getting warm and I had images of a different youth leader kneeling down next to someone at the front and people whispering they’ve just been knocked down by the holy spirit and I remembered that this had happened the last time that I attended this church. I opened my eyes and my legs felt like Jelly and everyone was quiet as we had been asked to pray and I knew at that moment that I had my first experience of feeling the Holy Spirit within me. To me the vision means that Jesus communicates with us all differently and that Jesus was saying – Have I not shown you how I completely overwhelmed this person that they were knocked down by my holy spirit? Here I felt what they felt – that rush I feel is a reminder to me that first time that he is real and that I have asked him into my life.
My youth leader left Southport and started to work in Bootle and invited me to come down which I did and I made new friends and we created LX3 – a once monthly event held at Northfield Church an under eighteen’s disco which was very successful.
Being a Christian was not easy – it still isn’t! There have been many times were I have realised that Jesus has been in control and things have worked out even when I didn’t think that they would.
I felt that I had prayed that prayer and that was it, I was a child of God and that was all I needed to do – How wrong was I! Bad decision followed bad decision and other things became more important to me than Jesus. I became so wrapped up with trying to make other people happy that I became sad and I filled the gap with quick euphoria’s whereas what I needed was to put Jesus first and surround myself with positive Christian friends. I took knock after knock and faced the consequences from my bad decisions and I couldn’t take anymore and I decided to return to the Church where I first gave my life to Jesus.
This was a time of growth for me, a time to repent for the bad choices that I had made in life. I looked forward to Sunday services and was gutted when they were over. It brought me closer to my parents, I started to learn more and get more out of the services. They held a ‘heaven and hell’ play which was fantastic and a real eye opener and if you have not seen the play I would encourage you to see one or even promote your church to get involved. On another occasion a former youth leader turned up who I remembered from when I was about nine or ten years old. He tours churches promoting children’s work through various means audio and visual and he asked if there were any requests people had? My mum shouted out to play my song! Years ago I wrote a song with my dad to win a camera competition and this particular youth leader put music to it and it became a hit at the church and was sung regularly. He asked my mum if she knew me and she pointed me out at the front sitting with my daughter. He could not find the backing music but slung his guitar over his shoulder and started singing the song I had written with my dad. It was great to hear and at the end he came to speak to me and offered some free cd’s and dvd’s. One thing he said to me was that my song had changed so many lives, he was at a gig in Ireland and played my song and over 200 people committed their lives to Jesus. I could not believe it! Here was something that I could do which could positively impact people’s lives I was overwhelmed with emotion.
There were lots of other things that happened in my life but I will try and summarise certain things up. I continued to build a strong relationship with my daughter. I tried to keep in contact with positive people and slowly moved on from the negative people impacting my life. I felt ready for a proper relationship now that my relationship with Jesus was on track. I still had highs and lows mostly work related especially the lows. I applied for other jobs and even when I was offered them I turned them down I had this sensation ‘it’s not the right time’ even though I became terribly unhappy at my work.
One of my Bootle friends and I started doing mobile discos together with our own equipment we had enough for two medium sized setups and if we were double booked we would do one each otherwise we would share. On one of these occasions we were asked to do a New Year’s Eve house party in Crosby. I had finished work early and travelled down to pick my friend up as we were going to scope the place out so we knew how to get there on the day. My friend had a rough idea of how to get there, anyway we turned off the main road and somehow I got a puncture. The tool to remove my wheel would not fit! It was so frustrating we both tried, my suit was getting wrecked and I felt hopeless. The disco money meant I was able to keep the car on the road in order to see my daughter and we were stranded off the main road. Not one car had passed in about fifteen minutes.
We were stopped right opposite a church and I told my friend I was going to sit in the car and pray and he can have another go if he wanted to which he did. I looked at the church and then closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed for immediate help. I got out the car and started to feel more relaxed. Then a car came towards us from nowhere – I through myself in front of it and the driver was swerving to go round me but I would not let it. The poor old man wound his window down and asked if everything was ok? I calmly explained what had happened and asked if he could assist. He looked at my car and said we have completely different cars it won’t work. I asked him if I could try and that I had just prayed for help. He got out and I used his tool and I had changed the wheel in three to four minutes. I was thanking Jesus in my head for the speedy response.
I could not thank the old man enough and he became a lot jollier (he was obviously apprehensive at first). He introduced himself and advised us that he was already late getting home and that he owned a couple of chippies in the area. He asked us what we were doing off the main road and we advised him we were looking for a particular address. He looked at us with a puzzled expression and enquired as to why we needed that address. We advised that we would be doing a mobile disco there on NYE. He did a little jig in the street and advised us that the address was his daughter’s house and he would gladly show us the way! I said to my friend in the car that being able to change the wheel and finding the address was because of my prayer. The disco was a success and we were both paid a bonus too!
There are other examples throughout my life were I have and haven’t felt close to Jesus. I have trouble with certain temptations however recently I don’t feel as tempted as I used too and this I believe has been through years of prayer and changing my attitude.
My life ebbed and flowed with good times and bad and throughout I communicated with Jesus. At my old place of work I had a reminder that popped up every day to pray and just sharing what was on my mind was great. I had other relationships and none more important than the girl I married. We had both been through similar heartache (having a child from a previous relationship) and both have Christian values. I prayed for confirmation that this was it and it felt so right. The actual wedding day was a whirlwind but I enjoyed every moment and it makes me smile just thinking of it.
Marriage is wonderful being able to share everything in life with someone who you love is amazing. Marriage is testing and has its ups and downs, marriage can be challenging but very rewarding. None more so than being blessed with a son it cemented our family together. At this time I again was having a testing time at work and we lived close to my work but my wife had to travel a fare distance to her work and she worked close to my eldest daughter whom I continued to see every weekend and holidays. I prayed for a new job and for someone to purchase our house as we were outgrowing it and I longed to be nearer my daughter. I prayed since she was eighteen months old to have more interaction with her and to spend more quality time with her. Even though I disliked my job and certain people I worked with I felt it was best to stick at it and sell the house first even though we were having no luck. I continued to pray and I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. Everything became routine and I started to feel that I wasn’t getting anywhere and thinking I was letting everybody down. We had been messed about with people putting silly offers on the house and even someone who put an offer on and then retracted it.
I asked my wife if we could pray together and she didn’t want to but agreed that we could the following night. The night after we prayed we received a knock on our front door and a lady who had viewed the house a few weeks prior offered us the asking price which we gratefully accepted. I did not want to get my hopes up as things had been at this stage before and she wanted her family (her brother was a builder) to inspect the property as well but somehow I felt calm and believed that this was it we were finally going to move.
Choosing the right house was easier than I thought as each one we looked at I had instant feelings and when I found the one I liked I prayed if it was the right one and I went through the motions of selling and buying and moving and I felt it was all coming together. Since moving I now see my daughter a lot more so my prayers have been answered. The next issue I had was to try a new career. After twelve years of working for a big global blue chip company I wanted to do something different, I had some ideas however it was very hard to break into when most of my working experience had been in a particular environment. I prayed about leaving my job but I had financial worries especially with purchasing a new house. Within six weeks after the move redundancies were being offered at work and after consulting with my wife who was very supportive over this important decision I agreed to take redundancy.
I was sad to leave my friends as I had been with them for a third of my life both inside and outside of work however I had a sense of relief that I was finally leaving a place which gave me so much heartache and stress.
Finding a new job was harder than I thought however I persevered with it and I was accepted to work within administration as a civil servant part time. The job is on short rolling contracts so it is always stressful as you never know when it may end but for someone who was a worrier I feel at peace about it.
With changing houses and surroundings I was struggling to adjust and I started to become a bit withdrawn. Sunday services were not meaning anything to me; I was trying to break into a very tight click at Church to build friends. I still am! It is very hard people are nice to you and welcoming on a Sunday morning but then it feels like you are forgotten about until the following Sunday.
I tried walking away from Jesus one of the main reasons was because I felt that I didn’t belong at this particular church however this church has had an amazing input and influence with my wife. I announced on social media I didn’t want to know anymore and felt so alone. The pastor of the church came to see me and still meets up with me now for encouragement and talks which is fantastic. I felt challenged to give it another go at this church and to put extra effort in.
There have been many issues in my life I have had lots of highs and some lows as well. I feel my gift from God is writing songs and I have written quite a few. I would like to create a band (unfortunately I cannot play) or a dance label and hear these Christian songs played and sung, spread throughout the land changing people’s lives and having a positive influence.
My relationship with Jesus is currently strong and it has not been easy to share some of these things however I am hoping that whoever reads this can realise that no matter what you have done in your life even the really bad things that through all these negatives Jesus was with me and I have had many positives along the way – a positive relationship with my parents – a beautiful wife – three amazing children – a house – a car – miracles that have happened to me – and many other things which have all happened because of Jesus. I feel that even in my darkest moments that he was there and that I was not alone. Yes I face new issues and battle through old ones but I am focused on putting Jesus first and moving forward with him.